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How To Spot People That Seem Good, And Are Really Toxic

In today’s world a person needs good survival skills. It is easy to get people that have toxic traits and think they are okay people. A lot of people today, are only self validated; and they all think they are great!

The trouble comes when they think they are great, and really very toxic people that aren’t good at all. Let’s examine a few ideas about this. I will try to illustrate the ideas with some kind of reasonable example you can follow.

Example 1:

A nice Christian woman goes to a national park, and she see’s many kinds of wildlife while she is in the park. She see’s bears, and birds of all kinds. A moose, and a bob cat. Then when leaving the park, she see’s a wolf. And she really likes the wolf, and she decides she wants one of her own.

So the woman goes out and acquires a wolf of her own. But she doesn’t like its behavior, she really wants it to act like a house cat. She isn’t happy with the wolf, because it doesn’t behave like a house cat. She has the wolf drugged against its will in an effort to make it live like a good house cat, because that is what she wants.

The wolf isn’t happy. The wolf hates living like a house cat. Doesn’t it seem immoral to drug a wolf against its will and try forcing it to live like a house cat? It is not in its nature to live like a house cat, it is a wolf, and wants to live like a wolf. It has something in its blood that being confined like a house cat goes against everything inside it.

Example 2:

Someone that has only had a cat their whole life, gets a dog. They think the dog is really bad, because it doesn’t behave like a house cat. They don’t know how to train it, they don’t know how to treat it right, and they hate the dog, because it doesn’t act like they want it to.

Maybe, the problem is not the dog? Maybe, the problem is the person that has the dog doesn’t know how to train, treat, or handle a dog; when what they should have is house cat.

You can not expect a dog to live like a house cat. That just isn’t going to work. So what you can do, is not expect the same behavior from the two. They really are not the same kinds of animals.

Be Reasonable

Can you see the reason in this? Does it make sense? The first example seems like something that is immoral, because the expectations of the person went against the very nature of the wolf, and it is not logical, reasonable, or rational behavior on the part of the woman who wanted to keep a wolf like a house cat.

The second example is of just pure ignorance. Some people do not think, and can not reason that the two do not behave alike. Sometimes people have no experience, and should chalk it up as a learning experience. But please, don’t expect your dogs to behave like house cats. They are more than warm sacks of shit, and should be treated as such.

This article is about how to spot toxic people. So now that we have covered a few examples of things that are toxic, let’s examine some other ways people need to be aware of.

Those who try to control, manipulate, or change those who have natures different than themselves, should never expect a person to conform to their expectations. Something I saw today online, really made me think. It said: “A man that really loves you will change his behavior for you.”

Thinking about this, made me angry. If a woman doesn’t like a mans behavior; she should never get involved with him in the first place. End of story, full stop!

People that are good for each other, are good for each other. If they are not good for you, are you sure you aren’t trying to do something unnatural like make a wolf live like a house cat?

It would be just as immoral and unreasonable to expect a wolf to live like a house cat. So why do people expect someone to be different from their nature? It seems illogical to expect someone to change their ways for someone that isn’t going to love them for who they are inside. They either love everything about them, or they will grow to despise the person for who they are.

There is no real way to make a house cat understand this. They are illiterate, and couldn’t think past cat nip, tv, and preening to make them understand. They lack the capacity to understand it.

Pity, they should have never been allowed to be in control. People that only have solution rooted in politics, religion, and sobriety, do not understand, and will never understand. They are toxic people, who are best avoided. Learn from my mistakes, be careful who you trust. They will drug you if you disagree with them, and their ways. They will wonder why the wolf doesn’t exist like a house cat, and doesn’t like the treatment. And they get really upset if you complain about it. Maybe they were immoral to have done what they did in the first place.

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LifeStyle On Edge – Thoughts On A Pretty Good Day

On being like a tree

After a pretty good day, with nothing worse than a mild headache, it seems there are days that this living death is more bearable. Progress was made, and I’ve been thinking today about potential.

Well thinking about potential, and how to define success. Seems there are ways we forget what really matters. To be happy, sometimes we get close, so very close; yet it seems just not close enough.

The difference between genius and insanity is success.

Albert Einstein

How one defines success can be subjective. What is one persons success is someone else’s nightmare. Might depend upon what movies you watch. You know?

Been thinking about my definitions of what it means to me. I was out back smoking a cigarette, when an idea struck me. It didn’t hurt, as a matter of a fact, I laughed about it. The idea was this: working a nine to five job; is basically daycare where they pay you to be there.

In a world of alternative facts, it helps sometimes to have something concrete to measure by. I wonder what people in life really think? Seems so many today are close to success, they are close to being happy, close to being alive; yet, the distance is overwhelming to them.

How can you be so close, yet feel so unhappy? Seems the stuff that makes us happy, is elusive sometimes. And you think, someday; I’m going to catch that feeling.

Sometimes, my days are more productive than a dozen monks contemplating their navels. Other times, my days don’t get me very far. It seems, this lifestyle is on the edge of being close to what I want, yet; not close enough. There is no glass ceiling; however, there are some hard limits to what I can do.

Trying to work with what I have. Sometimes, I think about what I could do, or should be doing. I’m better off sometimes, with what I am doing. There is a sense of accomplishment from what I do. And the feeling that happiness is near, not far off. So close.

If you don’t count what you could have, or what you need; then where you are could be better than a lot of other options. I’ve given some thought to those who are happiest, and it seems those who need the least; while having all of their needs met, would be the best off.

I have some needs, not a lot. I’ve thought about how to make do with less. There are some parts of modern life, it’s not possible to live without. You shouldn’t even try.

Comforts

When a person has some comfort, and it suffices; then what more could one really need?

The problem is when comfort is lacking, and nothing will satisfy. The person that is happiest, is the ones that are the most content. But too much comfort is a burden. So there has to be balance.

Thus, how does one define success?

Those that are the most content, with the necessary comforts, without having burdens that are difficult.

-ctopher

Then again, one persons success would be another persons living hell. So there is difference of what works for each person. The secret is to find your spot without getting yourself into trouble.

Use good judgement. To each their own. Do not oppress your fellow men. Make life good for yourself while doing no harm to others of your kind.

Hence, I’ve learned something new. Or at least; explored a way to think about it. Having the philosophy to reason on, and the ideas lined up that make the most sense; that is the battle.

Seems, I could be happy; a lot has to change, somethings need to stay the same. There is no pleasing everyone all the time. Variety is important, and if you neglect it; you will be less happy.

This way of looking at it, makes sense to me. What do you think? Can you see the reason in the rhyme? But if you take a good look at my life, would you say: “He is successful?”

Maybe this life is training for us? You have to make good use of everything! Take the good training you get and put it to work for you, and the bad training you get; don’t do that junk.

Training twice as hard as real life would ever be.

Written by: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit!

Photo Credit: Photo by Andrew Liu on Unsplash

This article was inspired by the article found here: Proximity Be sure to watch the video, it is really something!

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From A Dark Place

Towards The Light

Mercury is out of retrograde. Thank goodness, that is over now. Maybe life will get moving in the right direction now? Maybe! I am bored right now, thus writing for the enjoyment of writing, without regard to real purpose or having something real important to say.

It does seem, to me, even if I had something important to say; no one would listen. They seem to have no way to value my effort, as though it doesn’t mean much of anything to them.

Bored with the status of my life, bored with the way this life has been treating me; life has been kicking my dog, going to have to do something about that damn cat!

Not much going on. I feel better now, mercury is out of retrograde, and it was a rough few weeks with that one. Maybe other people will lighten up now, and life will start to be better again? One can hope!

I’ve been working on a few projects, some of them are coming alone rather well. My project for my day in photos; it is done, been posting everyday to the site. If you want to check it out: My Day.

My other projects are going well. Finished some tough javascript problems this morning, and have solved most all of them with a very clever working solution. I’m happy about that. My site, Misfit.Ctopher.Me is coming along very well, it’s not really getting any traffic, but its been over a year in development. I do have a few other projects with that site, things I would like to do with it.

My other project, Lord knows; it needs a lot of help. It is a good idea, but it will require a lot of development to reach the status I’m looking for. Seems my projects have all met their maker. Wish they could meet you too!

I’m bored. Not much going on. Been isolated a lot, I mean; an awful lot the last month has been rough going. I am productive, but my social life is not looking all that good. I’m not really sure how to fix the damn problem. You would think, someone would have cared by now? Seems it’s a pity that life is like it is. It could have been really good. You know?

Life has to change, for the better. It has been rough going, the last twenty years; they have all been rough. It has made me tough, it might have also made me mean, but that is subjective.

Not much going on, I cooked a meal tonight. Roast beef melt with cheese, horseradish, and onion. It was good, I ate it before I could photograph it, I guess that I wasn’t thinking when I sat down to eat it, because I forgot to take a photo. These digital lifestyles can get difficult to keep up with, after a while, I guess you get into the habit.

I had other things on my mind, and not going to elaborate on that.

Bored! Life is, Things are. Trying to find some way to deal with that concept. It is easy to deal with, if you have the right frame of mind. Sometimes, it helps to be accepting of the situation, that things are the way that they are, and deal with it.

Still, I have some parts of my life, I would really like to see change for the better. I’m not sure, it seems my dreams have become stale, and I’m working on finding some new dreams. I’ve been avoiding making music for a few months now, I would like to get back into the groove; but it seems a ways off.

I have mostly been doing heavy duty programming the last month, with a few projects completed, I’m even learning javascript. That is something I have put off, like twenty years. I have found that I’m getting the hang of it these days. Thank goodness for Google.

The dogs are happy, if life wasn’t kicking them. Going to have to do something about that cat! Bring your dog, he can play the wolf for the evening. We have two spoiled doggies, that could use some time with another doggie.

Bored. I’ve been putting off writing for a month now, mostly because; no one reads, regardless of how much effort I put into it, or how well I’m writing, it seems no one cares anymore.

I had hoped that my writing would have proved my sanity, somehow, that seems impossible. They don’t give a damn about my effort. Pity, I wanted my life better, and I wanted it a long time ago.

I’ve lost weight, I am now down to about 167, which I am very happy about. Its starting to feel good to be thin again. It has been twenty years since I was down to this weight. I’m glad it has started coming off. It is a big relief to be losing weight.

My hair is long these days, and I am happier than I have been in fifteen years. That is doing really very well, from where I’ve been, I can say that I’ve come an awful long ways from where I was.

Ctopher Thomas 2021

This photo was from a few weeks ago. My hair has gotten long, much longer than it has ever been. That is for sure. I keep the sides short, and the back short too. It is almost 12″ on top. I think its a nice look. Now, if I could only get a job, I need a job man.

That is about the summary. Life, in a nutshell.

Written by: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit!

Photo Credit: Photo by Intricate Explorer on Unsplash

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Posse Bonus Post, Something Happy?

This is your posse bonus post this month. This photo of the dolphins was just too much to pass up, I had to post it. It is just so darn cool. Wish that I could get some dolphin time, alas life is.

There is some good to be had, if you look for it; sometimes, you have to really do some searching to find it. It is out there, like a formula hiding in plain sight. Some fractals are easier than others.

It has been snowing the last twenty-four hours. Nothing major, just some snow flurries. It has been a nice change, this winter is being kind thus far. New year, seems like the life we want is playing hide-and-seek from us. Pity!

Music is keeping me company, and running at more than 50%, I’ve been busy working on my site: Misfit.Ctopher.Me. It now has a feature to “Like” the photos in the main page, and keeps count of how many likes each post gets. It wasn’t too difficult, took me two days of effort to make it happen. I’m glad it worked out, I think its pretty cool, and neat stuff.

Not much going on; it seems, no matter how much effort I put forth, it is all going into a huge vacuum. Where is everyone at? They must be watching TV, or playing video games. I hope they are out having fun, that would be good. Life is meant to be lived; you should live it to the max!

Seems, I’ve been in a better mood the last few days; times are tough, life is rough. Wish it were going to get a lot better, right quick too! Thank God there is music; I would be so lost, banging on trash cans; trying to make music.

The human race, seems to be going in circles. No one can make their minds up about much of anything. Pity! Maybe it will get better for everyone one of these days, real soon!

Haven’t heard from anyone in months. It is a lot of isolation. More than my fair share; you want some? If I could bottle and sell isolation to people for a profit, wow; that would be something! I have plenty of it; if you want some, write me!

Photo Credit: Mike Palmowski – Unsplash

If only my isolation felt as good as this photo looks, I could use some of that, maybe just dangling my feet off the cliff looks good to me. How mighty the truth can be! Nature doesn’t lie.

I made a video, you should check it out; I think it is really very good. It is on YouTube, and here is the embedded version, if you want to watch it now!

This was my latest project, which I spent an afternoon working on, and a few cups of coffee to complete. I think, it turned out really very well. Some people, think my voice isn’t very good; like to see them smoke two packs a day and still have a voice.

Trying to find meaning; seems this world is made of poison, trying not to let the haters make me meaner than I already am. Life needed to change, and for the better. Such is life.

Have to let this make me better, working towards some goals. I would like to see some results from my effort, yet; everyone is so darn busy these days, seems they don’t have time for me.

Read all the great posts on my blog, some of my writing has gotten a lot better, I feel my progress is very likely, REMARKABLE. If you saw my writing a few years ago, compared to my current work; I think it has come a long ways in the last month.

Have a nice day!! Thanks for reading!!

Written by Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit!

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What Is Advantageous?

Not All Things Are Advantageous

What is advantageous in this world? After giving it some level of thought, there are some points I can make about this subject.

  1. The most advantageous options are ones that don’t have a disadvantage.

Seems everyone has some dis-advantage in life, but how we deal with them determine how much of a dis-advantage it really is. What may stop one person in their tracks is nothing more than a mild inconvenience to others. So the conditioning that people have and how their minds work may determine how we handle problems.

There are things that have positive effects, with no down side. Drinking a cup of coffee when you wake up has the advantage of helping you wake up. However, drinking ten cups of coffee before trying to go to sleep has a real downside.

So you have to be smart enough to understand cause and effect, and knowing when, what, where, and how.

I was standing the shower thinking about this, and some song by Janes Addiction came to mind. “What is advantageous?” Some things look good, some things feel good, some things are painful. What advantage is there in life? Seems we should be able to make use of most things in life. Turns water to coldest possible setting, that will wake you up.

Laying on the sofa giving it further thought, what really is advantageous in life? It seems some things are good for us, some things aren’t so good for us. Having a society that is sober and drug free, has some advantage. If everyone was drunk or drugged out of their minds, society wouldn’t function very well.

At the same time, just as people think smoking cigarettes is a major disadvantage, as they feel getting sick and dying isn’t an advantage; it seems at some point in the lives of everyone living; they all eventually get sick and die.

So what is advantageous? That which never puts you at a dis-advantage. Then, how does anyone make it through life? Seems everyone at some point is faced with something that challenges them to grow, to learn, and to adapt.

Anything that puts you at a long term dis-advantage would be likely a very bad thing. Some people aren’t given choices in the matter, which is because life can be very unfair. So it is advantageous to do things that improve your life.

I think something that is advantageous would be something that would have good results if anyone were to do so well. There are some things that some people do better than others, so knowing your abilities helps a lot. Not everyone is going to benefit from jumping out of an airplane at twenty thousand feet. Some may find it is very beneficial; some people may find it a career limiting maneuver. To each their own, do everything within your abilities.

Doing what is best, requires that a person have the ability to reason and use logic to understand the full effects of their actions; long before they set out to make something happen.

What advantage is there in being poor? Seems in the long run, its usually a dis-advantage. Yet, some people have come from poverty to rise in life, and do very well for themselves. They learned that they must work for what they want, and have standards.

So poverty in itself isn’t really anything more than a setback. While, being totally stupid; is a major disadvantage. It’s pretty tough to get smarter when you’re as dumb as a rock.

There might be an upside to it; but only as long as you believe that ignorance is bliss.

Do what is advantageous for everyone in the long run, and society will benefit for a long time. You have to have understanding about cause and effect; and the long term goals that need to be accomplished. Anything that has long term dis-advantages would be something to avoid at all costs.

Be wise, feed your head; just make sure it’s not poison.

Sometimes in life, it seems you are screwed no matter what course of action you take, go left; you are screwed. Go right; you are screwed. You are not able to go back; the only thing you can do is go strait. Be brave; have courage. Live so well, no one will ever say you didn’t try.

At some point; everyone will find some problem in life, how you deal with it; that is what matters. Some people train their whole lives for one moment. Do what you can to make life better for everyone.

Photo Credit: Photo by Jocelyn Morales on Unsplash

Written By Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit!

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Meditation Video

One of my projects in recent months has taken shape. A friend of mine is creating meditation videos. In passing I casually asked if I could do the music for one of his videos.

Didn’t really believe anything would come from it; however here we are. They used my song for their video and it is live right now. Click this link: Meditation Music Series 2, #1 and go check it out.

It was a lot of fun to work on this project and make the music for this video. Making music is something I really enjoy doing, and it sounds pretty darn good too!

It is only five minutes long, so it is short enough that you can watch the whole thing. Take a look and check it out. Music by Ctopher Thomas.

Photo Credit: Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

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Music I’m Listening To – Heavy Rotation

Music is good. And having great music to listen to is important. I want to talk about some of the albums I’m listening to in heavy rotation, and mention a few of my favorite songs. So without further mumbo jumbo, here is what I’m listening to in no particular order.

Heather Nova – Siren

Although this album was released in 1998, its new this week to me. I find her music comforting. It has great quality to it, and while its a little gentle for alternitive music, its got some heavy lyrics to it that makes my heart go Boom, Boom, Boom.

My favorite songs on this album are Avalanche and WinterBlue. She has a new album out: Pearl. Because I like her vocals and lyrics. It is soft and gentle, yet strong and solid in sound.

This is a heavy rotation favorite!

Sarah Bareilles – Amidst The Chaos

This is a special album. Great vocals and song writing. Maybe we will have a safe place to land? Give it a listen. It is good stuff. Lots of hope here, and a good lesson. Therefore listen to Sarah. She has a great album.

Joe Henry – Blood From Stars

This artist was someone I discovered about a year ago. It seems difficult to believe that I’ve been listening to his music that long and its still in rotation. Brilliant lyrics and sounds here. Not your average kind of music, its remarkably good. Highly recommended.

This album rocks, its brilliant sounds and lyrics. Because life is too short to not believe in something wonderful.

John Lennon – Plastic Ono Band

This was found out of desperation in my isolation. Its been a favorite since I found it. The lyrics of “Working Class Hero” and “God” just seem too bone chilling to forget. Thank goodness I found this album. The man is a genius.

It’s not for everyone, the song Well, well, well will leave you with the feeling that he is singing with passion. Unless you don’t like raw unfiltered you will feel something with this album.

AFI – Burials

This album is tough. Sometimes you need something extra, this album is my rough days go to listen. Somedays it gets me through the day a little better. Great sound here.

Therefore, give it a listen if your feeling in that dark mood that needs something to lift the gloom. Sure, they are emo, but who isn’t these days?

Lady Gaga – Chromatica

Interesting album. Love the gamut of the music on this album. Sounds really good in my opinion. What can you say? Lady Gaga is great; she doesn’t fail to perform this album in beauty and raw glitter.

Jolie Holland – Wine Dark Sea

This album is great. As an artist there is much respect for Hollands vocals and incredible talent. This album is strong and beautiful. Some of the best lyrics and thought provoking instruments in the recording.

Beth Wood – The Long Road

One of my all time favorites. Her songwriting skills are out of this world. One gem that is brilliant and likely be remembered as a genius. This album has gotten me through some tough days, and long nights. Song writing is perfect. There are stories here, give them a listen.

Conclusion

So this is what I’ve been listening to in heavy rotation, with no special order. This is only the stuff I’m listening to while I’m awake. When I’m sleeping classical music plays on a special playlist. Life without music wouldn’t be worthy of my time, its something that makes life much better. I’ve been working to make some of my own music, you can give it a listen here: Soundcloud ctopher42.

Thanks!

Written by Ctopher Thomas, founder MyDigitalChaos.Net

Photo Credit: Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

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Courage life my day Note to Self

Comfort Zones

Comfort Zones

If there is one thing that will knock your creativity for a sour loop, it is your comfort zones. You get comfortable, you get too comfortable, and your creativity starts to take a nose dive.

I’ve heard it said, “Stay hungry, stay foolish!” I had always thought its good advice and while I understood it on the surface level, it took me a while to realize its about staying outside one’s own comfort zone.

So in these strange times, be aware; have a care. Still you have to do something that scares you a little bit every day. Just going for a walk isn’t really enough, you have to be pushing the envelope in your everyday living.

Try writing a stranger, or talking with someone new. Go indoor skydiving once or twice. You have to be doing something that is outside your current frame of mind. That is how new ways of looking at things is discovered. That is how growth happens.

Don’t get too comfortable if you want to be highly creative. That comfort zone will make sour paintings if you are not careful.

Stay brave, Stay strong. Calibrate Yourself For Success!

You can read a great article about doing something brave here: https://www.wakeupcloud.com/putting-yourself-out-there/

Photo Credit: Photo by Alexander Kaunas on Unsplash