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How To Spot People That Seem Good, And Are Really Toxic

In today’s world a person needs good survival skills. It is easy to get people that have toxic traits and think they are okay people. A lot of people today, are only self validated; and they all think they are great!

The trouble comes when they think they are great, and really very toxic people that aren’t good at all. Let’s examine a few ideas about this. I will try to illustrate the ideas with some kind of reasonable example you can follow.

Example 1:

A nice Christian woman goes to a national park, and she see’s many kinds of wildlife while she is in the park. She see’s bears, and birds of all kinds. A moose, and a bob cat. Then when leaving the park, she see’s a wolf. And she really likes the wolf, and she decides she wants one of her own.

So the woman goes out and acquires a wolf of her own. But she doesn’t like its behavior, she really wants it to act like a house cat. She isn’t happy with the wolf, because it doesn’t behave like a house cat. She has the wolf drugged against its will in an effort to make it live like a good house cat, because that is what she wants.

The wolf isn’t happy. The wolf hates living like a house cat. Doesn’t it seem immoral to drug a wolf against its will and try forcing it to live like a house cat? It is not in its nature to live like a house cat, it is a wolf, and wants to live like a wolf. It has something in its blood that being confined like a house cat goes against everything inside it.

Example 2:

Someone that has only had a cat their whole life, gets a dog. They think the dog is really bad, because it doesn’t behave like a house cat. They don’t know how to train it, they don’t know how to treat it right, and they hate the dog, because it doesn’t act like they want it to.

Maybe, the problem is not the dog? Maybe, the problem is the person that has the dog doesn’t know how to train, treat, or handle a dog; when what they should have is house cat.

You can not expect a dog to live like a house cat. That just isn’t going to work. So what you can do, is not expect the same behavior from the two. They really are not the same kinds of animals.

Be Reasonable

Can you see the reason in this? Does it make sense? The first example seems like something that is immoral, because the expectations of the person went against the very nature of the wolf, and it is not logical, reasonable, or rational behavior on the part of the woman who wanted to keep a wolf like a house cat.

The second example is of just pure ignorance. Some people do not think, and can not reason that the two do not behave alike. Sometimes people have no experience, and should chalk it up as a learning experience. But please, don’t expect your dogs to behave like house cats. They are more than warm sacks of shit, and should be treated as such.

This article is about how to spot toxic people. So now that we have covered a few examples of things that are toxic, let’s examine some other ways people need to be aware of.

Those who try to control, manipulate, or change those who have natures different than themselves, should never expect a person to conform to their expectations. Something I saw today online, really made me think. It said: “A man that really loves you will change his behavior for you.”

Thinking about this, made me angry. If a woman doesn’t like a mans behavior; she should never get involved with him in the first place. End of story, full stop!

People that are good for each other, are good for each other. If they are not good for you, are you sure you aren’t trying to do something unnatural like make a wolf live like a house cat?

It would be just as immoral and unreasonable to expect a wolf to live like a house cat. So why do people expect someone to be different from their nature? It seems illogical to expect someone to change their ways for someone that isn’t going to love them for who they are inside. They either love everything about them, or they will grow to despise the person for who they are.

There is no real way to make a house cat understand this. They are illiterate, and couldn’t think past cat nip, tv, and preening to make them understand. They lack the capacity to understand it.

Pity, they should have never been allowed to be in control. People that only have solution rooted in politics, religion, and sobriety, do not understand, and will never understand. They are toxic people, who are best avoided. Learn from my mistakes, be careful who you trust. They will drug you if you disagree with them, and their ways. They will wonder why the wolf doesn’t exist like a house cat, and doesn’t like the treatment. And they get really upset if you complain about it. Maybe they were immoral to have done what they did in the first place.

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From A Dark Place

Towards The Light

Mercury is out of retrograde. Thank goodness, that is over now. Maybe life will get moving in the right direction now? Maybe! I am bored right now, thus writing for the enjoyment of writing, without regard to real purpose or having something real important to say.

It does seem, to me, even if I had something important to say; no one would listen. They seem to have no way to value my effort, as though it doesn’t mean much of anything to them.

Bored with the status of my life, bored with the way this life has been treating me; life has been kicking my dog, going to have to do something about that damn cat!

Not much going on. I feel better now, mercury is out of retrograde, and it was a rough few weeks with that one. Maybe other people will lighten up now, and life will start to be better again? One can hope!

I’ve been working on a few projects, some of them are coming alone rather well. My project for my day in photos; it is done, been posting everyday to the site. If you want to check it out: My Day.

My other projects are going well. Finished some tough javascript problems this morning, and have solved most all of them with a very clever working solution. I’m happy about that. My site, Misfit.Ctopher.Me is coming along very well, it’s not really getting any traffic, but its been over a year in development. I do have a few other projects with that site, things I would like to do with it.

My other project, Lord knows; it needs a lot of help. It is a good idea, but it will require a lot of development to reach the status I’m looking for. Seems my projects have all met their maker. Wish they could meet you too!

I’m bored. Not much going on. Been isolated a lot, I mean; an awful lot the last month has been rough going. I am productive, but my social life is not looking all that good. I’m not really sure how to fix the damn problem. You would think, someone would have cared by now? Seems it’s a pity that life is like it is. It could have been really good. You know?

Life has to change, for the better. It has been rough going, the last twenty years; they have all been rough. It has made me tough, it might have also made me mean, but that is subjective.

Not much going on, I cooked a meal tonight. Roast beef melt with cheese, horseradish, and onion. It was good, I ate it before I could photograph it, I guess that I wasn’t thinking when I sat down to eat it, because I forgot to take a photo. These digital lifestyles can get difficult to keep up with, after a while, I guess you get into the habit.

I had other things on my mind, and not going to elaborate on that.

Bored! Life is, Things are. Trying to find some way to deal with that concept. It is easy to deal with, if you have the right frame of mind. Sometimes, it helps to be accepting of the situation, that things are the way that they are, and deal with it.

Still, I have some parts of my life, I would really like to see change for the better. I’m not sure, it seems my dreams have become stale, and I’m working on finding some new dreams. I’ve been avoiding making music for a few months now, I would like to get back into the groove; but it seems a ways off.

I have mostly been doing heavy duty programming the last month, with a few projects completed, I’m even learning javascript. That is something I have put off, like twenty years. I have found that I’m getting the hang of it these days. Thank goodness for Google.

The dogs are happy, if life wasn’t kicking them. Going to have to do something about that cat! Bring your dog, he can play the wolf for the evening. We have two spoiled doggies, that could use some time with another doggie.

Bored. I’ve been putting off writing for a month now, mostly because; no one reads, regardless of how much effort I put into it, or how well I’m writing, it seems no one cares anymore.

I had hoped that my writing would have proved my sanity, somehow, that seems impossible. They don’t give a damn about my effort. Pity, I wanted my life better, and I wanted it a long time ago.

I’ve lost weight, I am now down to about 167, which I am very happy about. Its starting to feel good to be thin again. It has been twenty years since I was down to this weight. I’m glad it has started coming off. It is a big relief to be losing weight.

My hair is long these days, and I am happier than I have been in fifteen years. That is doing really very well, from where I’ve been, I can say that I’ve come an awful long ways from where I was.

Ctopher Thomas 2021

This photo was from a few weeks ago. My hair has gotten long, much longer than it has ever been. That is for sure. I keep the sides short, and the back short too. It is almost 12″ on top. I think its a nice look. Now, if I could only get a job, I need a job man.

That is about the summary. Life, in a nutshell.

Written by: Ctopher Thomas, A Real Misfit!

Photo Credit: Photo by Intricate Explorer on Unsplash

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Two Sides To Choose From

The Cats Side Of The Story

Photo Credit: Photo by Zoë Gayah Jonker on Unsplash

We want left alone. There will be no talking about anything. We have enough food for tonight, and we just want to watch the TV. I’m not going to worry about anything like the future, what would that accomplish; nothing!

We are perfectly happy wasting out lives, and besides we are just too tired to chase mice. Haven’t been outside in months if not years. Thinking about it now; I’m not sure how long it has been since we went outside. We are queens of our lives, and no one is going to tell us what to do, or not do.

We want life easy. No living, we want a living death. We really like zombie cat shit. It is so rewarding and pleasent. We don’t care about anyone or anything that isn’t in our face screaming at us. And if they were, we would just ignore them until they leave. We like watching TV and a boring living death, because work is just so difficult, with all this fur, who could ever think or use their mind. It’s just so darn difficult. Purr. . .

The Dogs Side Of The Story

Photo Credit: Photo by Joséphine Menge on Unsplash

Life has to get better, and right quick. We want to have company visit, and to talk about the great walks we could be having. There are rabbits to chase, and life to be lived. We want to live our lives. No sense laying around all day looking like a queen, we want to play and work; we want to have a life worth living.

No sense to watch the TV, it is all the same. We want to have something of purpose to do, something that has meaning and value; we want to feel good about what we do, because we did it.

We’re tired of the the cats that live like zombies. They don’t do anything with their lives, and they are boring. Dogs have better things to do than laying around playing with their poo poo all day.

If the world doesn’t get a lot better, we are going to start biting people. That will teach them a lesson. Maybe we will start with barking at them and giving them orders to follow, as if they could follow orders, they are so damn lazy they wouldn’t know their own poo.

We want to make life better for everyone. At least all the doggies lives better, at this point we don’t give a damn about the cats. They have ignored us and pretended we don’t exist so long that we know without a doubt they don’t give a damn about us.

Life has to change, for the better. We have to start being more active, having some meaning and purpose in our lives, because without that; life isn’t worth living.

There has to be more to life than chasing lizards. We want to catch them too. But if we brought the dead lizards to the feet of the cats they wouldn’t give a damn. Nothing pleases them. Damn zombies.

Life has to change. The world has to be made a better place for everyone. And right quick. Before we know it; the cats are going to take over and everyone will be drugged and so damn stupid they will just play with their poo poo.

Stop the cats from being evil.

Photo Credit: Red House Photo by Luke Stackpoole on Unsplash

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A short note

Walking north, the path continues. We have been walking for ten days strait. ‘You would think the path would arrive somewhere?’ When someone travels, there is the expectation that they will arrive. If everywhere you go; there you are, can you ever really go anywhere?

Maybe what people want is to get out of their heads for a little while, to not feel their skin in their mind, like concrete in the walls of the tired mind.

People want to escape. But where? How? Seems everywhere they run, there is nowhere to go. How many try to lose themselves on the road, or in the bottom of a bottle. only to wake up and have to face the stark reality.

Maybe if you travel this path, you will see that others have made the journey. To freedom. To hope. To purpose. There are worse things than to arrive, like not showing up at all. It’s better to stay on the path, to bear the thorns along the way.

It’s not all green grass and paved. There are places the path has been washed away. Still you can find the path again, and continue your journey. It’s not all up hill. There is the journey across the sea, through the meadows at the shore. There are mountains to climb and make it through the pass up on top.

Then you have coming back down again. Through the desert. Across the no mans land of the sand and stone, where only snakes endure. Make it out of that land in a day, stay there not.

then there are forests to crave. and lush places where the rain has tended kindly. somewhere there is a cabin, way over there on the other side of all this.

Can you make it? it’s just a little further, if not along the path of forever, you can only stay a second. then it’s off to the palms for the weekend.

Sometimes the journey is as wonderful as having arrived. Sometimes makes a good story for when you get there. Seems almost forty-five years along this route. Maybe stuck on some dead end.

But the coffee shop is just down the street, and I can drive. It would be nice to fly. but that would be overkill. I could have it shipped to me, but by then it would be hot. I only like iced coffee. But the good coffee fairy likes coffee too, and she brings me a cup of nectar every morning. Like flowers to humming birds.

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Sharper Image? Do Laundry!

A Sharper Image

Being a photographer, I can tell you one of the biggest gripes you will ever hear from talking with photographers in general is that getting a picture to look sharp enough seems impossible. Even with the best lens, the high res .jpg, and Photoshop.

Like those photographs, sometimes it’s tough to get a sharp image in your life. Sometimes it’s not the gear. I’ve worked on having a sharper image for a few years, unfortunately my teeth are still broken out.

This year has been awful tragic. Everyone has felt hurt, betrayed, and stabbed in the back. I know that my personal pain has been something off the scale of how one could define hurt. My teeth hurt so bad for a few days that I seriously thought about knocking them out with a lead pipe to make them feel better.

This is a quick review of the year twenty-eighteen. While having been more physically painful that other years to date, there are some bright spots to the dark shadows that sway.

Year of Ice Coffee

This has most defiantly been the year of iced coffee. Being that we are in December and the temperatures have been dropping in the low 30’s, I will say there have been some days that feel like three jacket nights.

I’m starting to adapt to the cold. However we haven’t gotten any snow yet, so there is just cold weather. Which is nice, because I haven’t had to run the air conditioner once in three months.

While being the year of ice coffee, it has also been the year of eating almost nothing, smoking too many cigarettes, and having lasting isolation that even though I bought fancy perfume no one cares. Well there was someone that noticed; thank you! You made my day better. Hopefully I made yours a little better too. Most the time because I never see anyone but the Starbucks Baristas in the drive thru.

The month of August was horrific. It rained everyday for a solid month this year in what could only have been the worst rains in a hundred years of history. I can attest to the fact that the rain was worse than usual.

While being mostly a physically painful year, there were a few things to smile about. I have worked on my website until I’m happy with it for the most part. Not so happy that no one seems to notice it, but happy with the design other than the home page right now. It’s temporary. I’m sure of it.

Doggies Best Year

The doggies have brought much fun and joy in walks and chasing other things bigger than them, this year. They have also discovered that the playing laser tag is the best thing ever.

I made a few friends, lost a lot more than I made. While no one that I know has died recently, there has been this dark cloud of omniscience above my social life. It almost seems like people are too busy to care. Maybe this has been the year mortals quit giving a shit about anyone but themselves?

Believe that I have spent more time in a dark room with the music on, than I have spent with friends in twenty years. That’s just in this year.

I have however written a book, and about forty thousand words on my blog in the last year. While there has been less music making that I would like to have done, the music has played save but for the power outage that lasted all of five hours. It was horrific.

Not much poetry written this year. I did however buy art from multiple artists in both painting, drawing, poetry, and writers. I also purchased some photography from someone that is doing great work!

Efforts Failed

My own efforts have fallen flat in trying to rise. I am however clawing my way forward even though it is bleak and hopeless. Most people don’t read anymore, and it’s getting more difficult to write good poetry.

When I wasn’t wasting time staring at the ceiling, I was making graphics in Photoshop and drinking iced coffee. Might have made a few hundred posts to my account this year. I just wish that I was doing better work.

I have been trying to rise, the problem seems to be that people are not interested, they don’t even really give a damn if I rise. It’s obvious. They want me to fail. No one did much to support my efforts.

There is no quitting. The job has to be done. With no excuses. Everyone has to have something good. So we wait. We work, and we make the effort to do better everyday than we did the day before. Does anyone notice? Not likely. The distance traveled through my mind has taken me to places far and near.

It has been said that, “There is no excuse” period. I believe that. So what’s the problem? In a world of people that are obsessed with perfection, there sure is a lot to be desired.

Be kind. Go for the long game, make life better for everyone.

Brief Summary

In summary, this year has been pretty crummy. To be honest, it’s been downright awful. The rain and cold wasn’t as bad as the other problems that the world went through. I won’t even go there, because it’s been a night terror.

My main gripe tonight isn’t that the photographs aren’t sharp enough, it is directly related to the problems in being able to obtain sushi on any given day and that it’s impossible to order a pizza with more than one topping.

Get real! Seriously, you used to be able to order a pizza with multiple toppings, and now you can have a cheese pizza with one topping. Why isn’t there outrage about this? I mean what has happened in our lives that pizza delivery only offers one topping with a cheese pizza?

Did they outsource pizza delivery to someplace foreign? Not to be offensive but the world of micro code, high speed pizza delivery, and movies, music, and high speed internet was the only thing still keeping society at large from turning off the tv.

Still reading? I’m hoping that this next year will be better. It’s pointless to complain, and really everything but the pizza problem is like the weather. Temporary. These things too shall pass. Good music doesn’t go out of style. Likewise good taste will come back into being fashionable.

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I love This

Ratio Mix

Max had been awake a whole hour before Alex ever got up. He would have had a cup of coffee but it isn’t his style to drink coffee. Since he had been awake he had devoured two terabytes of data from the morning reports. Max is a very special individual. His main job is to go everywhere that Alex goes and make sure Alex has the right information to say at every appointment and meeting all day long. They have a wireless transmitter that max will use to upload the data Alex needs right on the spot and it forms words or pictures in Alex’s mind so he can understand it.

Max wasn’t unhappy about his job, he liked Alex a lot. He didn’t always like the orders Alex’s boss would give. Yet he figured there was nothing he could do about that. His neural synapses would filter the data and there was always an agenda for the day of what is needed to make or break the deals that are happening.

Deal Days

A new deal took place almost every fifty two minutes. Alex awoke and walked into the kitchen where Max is sitting patiently. Max didn’t bother to take the time to send a good morning message into Alex’s mind.  Rather he waited for Alex to send him the daily status message of either, “ah shit” or better yet “oh yeah”

Alex must have been tired this morning, Max who was timing his responses, timed him at four point two seconds to send “oh yeah”; Max who cross referenced all good morning responses and calculated the average found that Alex was toying with him once again and everything was most likely ok.

Some mornings are worse than others and in the event of an “ah shit” some meetings are rescheduled for another day depending upon what the problems are. Today looks good. Alex and max woof down their food. Then they leave the penthouse on the thirteenth floor to go do a days work. Hopefully as honestly as possible. Alex and his team mate Max aren’t the only game in town. Yet the odds of someone with the capacity that Alex and Max have is very low.

Upload Data

The idea behind the team work that they performed was simple. Max knew everything that was needed to be known. Alex was the guy who made the pitch based off max’s data. This free’s up Alex to perform better when under pressure. Though Max doesn’t tell him what to say or what order to say it in. Rather Max just uploads the right information at the right time.

Max is a dog.